In the words of James Mickens, (My Code Does Not Work Because) I Am A Victim of Complex Societal Factors

I am not a Pro because I don't own a device with Windows Pro; therefore I cannot use Docker; therefore I am not able to introduce myself to distributed computing.

Akka.NET is a toolkit and runtime for building highly concurrent, distributed, and fault tolerant event-driven applications on .NET/Mono. Encompasses both C# and F# support is in progress at the time of this writing.

There is a self-paced bootcamp for Akka that I will try to acclimate myself to once I can upgrade to Windows 10 Pro.